Effects of Divorce

“A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman.  It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection”

-Dallin H. Oaks

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are encouraged to marry in the Temple for time and all eternity.  When marrying in the Temple, we make covenants with the Lord that binds us together for time and all eternity.  Knowing that I am eternally connected to my husband and children brings me much peace and comfort.  While mortal life is not easy, we will face challenges as husband and wife.  These challenges can be very difficult as they affect our whole family unit, which may cause us to think of another alternative to staying together.

Divorce is a very sensitive subject as it affects many people in the world today.  Many of us have been victims of divorce or come from a family of divorce.  My thoughts are not to criticize or hurt another but to share the insight and counsel from our church leaders and outside sources from my classroom readings.

Divorce can affect all of us. One recent study found on www.futureofchildren.org by Paul Amato speaks on how divorce affects the children.  It is called, The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation is very formative on how divorce effects the family unit, especially children.  This study closely examines how children differ from living with their biological parents versus households with one biological parent.  The study outcomes clearly show valuable benefits for overall children’s well being with their biological parents.  Amato states, “those who grow up in stable, two-parent families have higher standard of living, receive more effective parenting, experience more cooperative co-parenting, are emotionally closer to both parents, and are subjected to fewer stressful events and circumstances.”  If you are contemplating divorce, I would encourage you to read Amato’s study.  He gives great insight on the struggles children will face as their parents divorce.

Within the gospel setting, Elder Dallin H. Oaks speaks of marriage like a human life that is most precious.  He goes on to say, “If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them.  We do not give up.  While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again.  The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him. The Lord will help us and heal us.”  While marriage is not perfect we need to strive together to communicate our thoughts, ideas, and dreams to one another.  We need to nurture our relationships just like we nurture ourselves when we become sick. As we are one in purpose with God we can stay close to each other and work through the difficult challenges that will arise in our marriages.

When I cherish those that I love, my actions will reflect the way that I care for them.