Family Relationships

Creating healthy relationships with in-laws and extended family members can be tricky as each family of origin comes from different backgrounds with roles and rules they follow. The beginning of a marriage may become easier as newlyweds ponder the scripture from the old testament found in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife.” Women can also use this scripture to reflect upon as they leave their mother and father to join together with her husband.   We can further learn from the Oxford dictionary that cleave means to be attached, devoted, faithful or steadfast, meaning a husband and wife should remain attached, devoted, steadfast and faithful to one another.   As couples are committed to putting one another first by being faithful and supportive, this will help them form healthy boundaries with their in-laws and extended family members.  It is important for a newly married couple to find their independence and new identity together. As parents we must adjust.

The author talked about a quote that hangs on a wall, it says “parents give their children two things: roots to grow and, and wings to fly.” As parents we must trust our children, their decisions, and be supportive. I learned this great wisdom from my in-laws.  They were always supportive in our decisions never lecturing us and only giving advice when we called upon. They have been wonderful and I appreciated their efforts as I am now taking on this same role with my daughter and son-in-law.  This has been an adjustment for me as a parent but I can see the benefits of trusting in my daughter and her husband. Staying neutral and positive only leaves them wanting to come home to visit more often.  Looking back on my marriage one of the best decisions my husband and I made was staying in school where we were far away from family. This allowed us time to adjust to one another without interference from family.  We learned to grow together by working out our differences.

Difference will come as family life begins and married couples should set boundaries on how to protect one another from extended family and in-laws. Staying connected as husband and wife while still loving family may be difficult at times but necessary.  Protecting one another is top priority. It takes time and patience to develop relationships but staying positive and setting expectations in the beginning can be a great way to begin a marriage!